I didn't shed a tear. Not one.
I'm almost crying now over the fact that I didn't cry.
Maybe it was because I wasn't sure what I should do with how I feel. To be so sad and so proud at the same time.
Cohen started preschool today.
I registered him. It was my idea. But I didn't really want him to go. We are buddies.
Off he went in his little monogrammed cardigan (pics to follow). He wasn't even excited to see me. Just neutral.
Little does he know, I left the house to pick him up an hour and a half before preschool was over. I needed to leave the house. It was too quiet without him. Even with Pax and my nephew here. It felt empty.
He's my sunshine; my world felt like a cloudy day without him.
We walked the half hour home...I patiently waited for him to start gabbing about all that he did and who he talked to, you know, tell him all the details over and over again...like toddlers do. I had to almost force the words out of his mouth. Like preschool was just his secret and I wasn't privileged to know what went on.
All he told me is that he wants to go back.
I was so proud..and still am. So proud of my baby boy who is growing up and in preschool! He didn't act shy with his school pals or his teachers. That's what I wanted when I signed him up.
Speaking of baby boy. I knelt down in front of my three year old and told him "I'm so proud of you, my baby boy." He has never once rejected a statement like that..I don't know why he chose today to start. Perhaps to watch my heart shatter...He responded "mom..I'm not a baby...I'm a big boy...I go to preschool."
Ok I get it. He liked it. He wants to go back. This is the start of him becoming his own person.
I'm sad..and so extremely proud.
Words can't describe.