life is busy

I know I'm not the only one with a busy life. But sometimes being busy is overwhelming. Don't get me wrong I do enjoy having things to do. Sometimes I just don't have enough time in a day, week, month to get everything done that I want to do...whether its necessary or just something that I want to do.

I recently got asked to serve a need in our church. I haven't answered yet. My baby, Pax, is not even a year yet and I don't like to leave him in the nursery. This need would need me to leave him somewhere and I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that yet. Also, it would also mean that I would have to sacrifice my Sunday school class...leaving me without that opportunity for growth and learning.

I'm struggling because the above reasons are all selfish. I should be jumping at the chance to serve where there is a need. Will Paxton remember that I didn't spend Sunday School with him? or Will it mean more to him that I served even if it meant a sacrifice for me?

I've been praying about it but since I have not received an answer..I'm assuming this one is up to me to figure out:)

sitting is hard

Yesterday was the first day of the 10 week beachbody class that I'm teaching...and man oh man am I a little sore. Whether I'm standing or sitting..my butt hurts...I'm guessing it has a lot to do with all the squats that we did.
I'm looking forward to teaching this class again. It was so much fun..work but fun!
I made a huge pot of oatmeal as a "treat" for the end of the class.
This was my recipe:
Oatmeal-icious!
servings: at least 10
3 cups of multigrain oats
3 tbsp ground flaxseed
2 tsp cinnamon
1 scoop vanilla protein powder

Bring 6 cups of water to a rapid boil. Stir in oats and rest of above ingredients. Reduce heat.
Leave for 6-8 minutes.
Remove from heat.

Stir in:

1 cup of blueberries (frozen or fresh)
2 chopped bananas

Top with yogurt (optional)

Gobble up!

Sunshine

I picked up my laptop and thought I would write a post about how lovely I think summer days are. And its true, I really do enjoy warm, sunny days.

But just as I was about to start typing I took a quick look outside and took account of where I was. Currently I'm sitting on my living room floor wearing a skirt and tank top, drinking an iced coffee and staring out the window at the gorgeous blue skies...and I'm also wearing a huge warm blanket. Its just such an odd concept to write about the warm weather, while shivering under a blanket in an air-conditioned igloo! 

Don't get me wrong..I love air conditioning. Its take the humidity out of the air so that even with my seasonal allergies I can still breath.

My favourite thing about being a SAHM is being able to spend the summers outside. We can take our time getting ready and taking a walk or the bike ride to the park. We can play in the water and take turns going down the slides. After a little snack we can go home, change into dry, clean clothes and make some low-key lunch before long, play-induced naps. Summer is a great excuse not to get as much done in the house...finally a justification for not cleaning...love!

I'm looking forward to long, warm summer days that stretch into cool evenings around the fire.

Sharing the love.

Last night as I was holding Paxton before bedtime, it really really hit me for the first time: I have two children. This may seem obsurd as Paxton is almost nine months old. I have had two kids for that long.
 I used to imagine what it would feel like to have a child and the intense love that comes along with that. Having Cohen has been the most life-changing, heart-transforming and selfless thing I have ever experienced. I could not imagine a deeper love.
When I got pregnant with Paxton, my one main concern was how I would be able to split my time and love fairly between both children. How could I possibly give any more than what I was already giving to Cohen? I have come to the realization that its not about splitting my love but my heat doubled.
Back to last night..I was sitting there holding my baby and became suddenly, vibrantly aware of the deep love I have in my body for both Cohen and Paxton.
My boys. I never would have guessed that I would be the mother of two sons.
This love is overwhelming but I wouldn't have it anyway.

rainy day + parenting

Ok so just so you get a small glimpse of my life lately: For the past 5 weeks I've had my own two kids plus my neice and my nephew while my sister is temporarily back at work. So yes that means I have a 3 year old, 2 1/2 year old, 1 1/2 year old, and 6 1/2 month old Pax. Yup..that's right..4 under 3. Needless to say I've been living a faster paced life than I'm used to.

Up until today it was okay. We have had great days playing together. We've had rougher days filled with time-outs and tears. But nothing prepared me for today. Both of my boys were still sleeping when the other two arrived. I had already been able to consume my breakfast, read blogs and take a few breaths all by myself. With optimisim I had researched different toddler-friendly activities we could do today.

We began with a fun time building a fort with chairs and blankets in the living room. I had told them to choose one toy each to play with in the fort while I nursed Paxton. Enter the madness. As I was nursing they began to put every toy we own in that fort. After a few attempts to get them to put some back...I just said, " whatever you put in the tent you will have to put back on the toy shelf."

Around 10:30am I told them we could have a snack in the tent. What a treat, eh?!?! But due to the tremendous amount of toys filling up the tent, there was no room for the kids nevermind me and a snack. Alright, let's clean up. Nothin'. No one moved. I attempted with various methods to motivate them to clean up the toys. It took one hour and 45 minutes to clean up the toys. That time was filled with screams, tears, meltdowns. And then there was the kids!

When Jason walked in the door for lunch I was tempted to run out and take an hour for myself. Jason asked why I didn't just put on the tv. Ugh! Doesn't he understand that I'm trying to parent without that thing! Of course its easy to plop kids in front of the tv and watch them get sucked in. Now before anyone gets upset or offended, they do get to watch tv and enough of it. But I don't want it to be something I use when I don't want to play or parent. Its a privilege.

After lunch we played for a bit...then I caved. I put Toy Story on. I figured I would have a few minutes to prep supper and cuddle my sick baby. Nope. Today not even the tv could save us. They argued, wrestled, pushed, and cried some more.

I put on a pot of coffee and dreamed of the moment that I would taste the first sip. Now and hour and a half later...all four are sleeping soundly in their beds and I am enjoying my well-deserved coffee.
I love them all. I do. We just have bad days. Monday will be better. It has to be. We reached the bottom. Its only up from here.

time flies

Sometimes I still feel phantom baby kicks. Crazy..since my baby is 6 months old as of March 3. How can six months go by so quickly. I'm in love with this kid. He is one of the happiest baby I've ever met...with just an edge of a temper. Pax's hair sticks up all the time. His big brother "tickles" him as evidenced by the gash on his cheek.
He's a big guy..not chubby but long and lean. He is wearing mostly 9-12 month clothes. At his immunization appointment, he weighs 17lbs, is 27" long and has a head circumference of 42 cm. So pretty much has the body shape of his father. But the eyes of his momma!
His smile turns my heart inside out.
He can sit up on his own and as of this morning can roll over...finally!
Since I'm still nursing, his bedtime routine is all about me.(Daddy puts Cohen to bed!) I'm getting into the habit of praying over him as he falls asleep. I've always known this is important but never felt I knew the "right" way to pray like that for Cohen. After hearing a visiting pastor to our church in the fall...I finally just started. His advice was "Want to know how to pray?...Just do it!" It never seemed so simple before.
I don't need fancy words or anything. I just talk to God and voice my desires for my little baby.
Its not hard..once I let go of myself. No one is judging me. I'm just a mom praying for her child.
Oh Pax...I do love you. Every day I sing "L.O.V.E." to him and he smiles for miles!

I hope the next 6months will go by a tad bit slower than the first! I'm so not ready for him to be 1!

Welcome...

Welcome to my new world! I have been blogging (if you can call it that!) at tamzamerica.blogspot.com for a few years. I've wanted to change names for awhile to something that more represented me and what I wanted to talk about. 


It took me for sure a year to come up with a blog name that I liked. It may not be super awesome but when I thought of it..it just seemed perfect for me.
I don't necessarily have a theme or catergory that I would classify this blog as...its about me and the things I like. 


A blog about me...to me that's the purpose of blogging. A personal blog..yup that sounds right. 


My name is Tamara. This is my blog. I wear many hats: woman, wife, mother, crocheter, sewer, aunt, daughter, sister, trainer, instructor. I strive for balance in life. I aim to live a healthy life. 


My journey is headed to eternity in Heaven. My job here on earth is to give glory to God in everything I do. I've lived a life so far wasting time. I want to fulfill the purpose God has given to me. 


I have one husband, Jason, and two sons, Cohen and Paxton. I like our little family. (Secretly...I like having two kids...but I don't have a little girl yet!)
My job (besides raising my boys) is a personal trainer/fitness instructor. I love to help others achieve their health goals and improve their self-esteem.


This blog is a work in progress. I hope to have a shop open soon with crochet accessories. I promise to blog when I have something to blog about and not fill it up with posts about nothing (huge pet peeve!)
Thanks for reading and hope you stick around:)